Act Like a Lady?

   
Next year, I will turn 40, and to this day, I still hear my mother's voice at certain times. "Stephanie, act like a lady." She probably said it a thousand times or more.Just when I was having the time of my single digit years, she'd give me THAT look and utter that horrendous phrase. Talk about a bummer. I grew up with a younger brother, smack dab in the middle of male cousins, and a tomboy best friend. Being lady-like was a bit of an issue for me. At least the lady-like my kid brain pictured. In my little busy head, being lady-like meant sitting in a perfect pose, quietly listening to polite conversation, and keeping the wrinkles out of a frilly pinafore. (One can assume that I did, and still do, have quite the dramatic imagination.) Basically I assumed she meant for me to be bored and miserable out of my wits, because that's what moms do, right? 

Going with the dramatic and overactive personality I have, I used the mental pictures of Southern Belles, waif-like creatures, uber submissive wretches, and damsels in distress to concoct images of what a lady was. For someone who always had scraped knees and dirty elbows, this was a scene right out of a horror movie. Being the stubborn person I am, I could not be convinced that this was absolutely NOT what my mother meant. In fact, up until the last few years, I had actually maintained that belief.  I was a soldier and an EMT, for crying out loud. Two very tough and "manly" jobs. For me there was one way or the other. No in between. You're either a tomboy or a girlie girl. If I were ever to be called a lady, I'd often turn around to peer behind me in a very Three Stooges fashion. Surely you weren't referring to me?

Now before all my girlie girls get their bloomers in a bunch, let me get to the point. Being lady-like is a state of mind. While I am addressing women at the moment, this goes for men too. Being a gentleman is also a state of mind. It's not about the way a woman dresses. Honey, you rock those mechanic coveralls, sweat pants, or designer jeans!!!! Being a lady is how we respond, how we act, how we handle ourselves. This doesn't make me old fashioned, or even if it does, it makes me a contributing member of society. There is a very famous saying that goes, "Well behaved women rarely make history." I believe that one thousand percent. However, when I think of those women, I see women who broke the societal norms with dignity and class. 

Now more than ever, we need ladies AND gentleman. People who are not afraid to stand up for what the believe in, but do it in a manner of class and grace. If we have learned anything this past week, it is that there are hateful, angry people in this world. Yet, there are ladies and gentlemen ready to stand and change the world. See, young Stephanies of the world, you can be a strong, independent woman AND be a lady. A lady responds with kindness and love in a sea full of vitriol and hate, while maintaining an air of strength. That's what Mom was trying so hard to impart to me all those years ago. Being a lady wasn't about some archaic traditions; it was about my attitude and response to life in general. I am angry and sad about the world around me, but how I choose to respond to that makes the difference. So yeah, act like a lady.

With much love,
Sweet Steph


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